Dream - Rainybreeze AU

Breezestar jumped down from the TallRock, glancing over at the white she-cat who jumped down as well from a tree branch nearby. He blinked, wincing at the pain. Rainysong approached him, tail gently brushing the eyelid after he closed it.

“Nice battle scar,” she mused. “Though, not the first.” Her tail flicked to the one across his back. He blushed, looking away. “Be warned, Breezestar - too many will ruin your good looks,” she added. He whipped his head around, eyes widened, before he noticed the teasing look in her bright cerulean eyes. His own yellow gaze met her blue one, and the teasing look faded into a more serious one. For a moment, something passed between them, and he could feel his heart beat more rapidly.

“Rainyso -”

“Rainysong!” Woodstripe called. Breezestar’s shoulders slumped as she turned away from him. “Shouldn’t a patrol go out?”

“Of course,” she meowed, tone changing from flirtati - No, not flirtatious, he reminded himself. From...friendly, to cool. “You, Stoneclaw, Juniperheart, and...Creekcloud can go on a hunting patrol.” The brown tabby nodded, and called something to Juniperheart. The four gathered before heading out.

“Rainysong -” Breezestar tried to say, but the white she-cat shook her head.

“I need to figure out who can go on the dusk patrol. We can talk later.” She headed towards Rosepaw, leaving Breezestar alone. He sighed quietly, tracing a pattern in the earth while staring at the deputy. His one life made it all the harder to try and start something with her, because the leader duties still rested on his shoulders.

He stopped looking at the second-in-command, instead turning his stare to the ground. The pattern had turned into swirls, seeming to grow out of his paw on the ground. Breezestar shook his head, instead padding forward to talk to Ebonysky.

𐩒⭗◯⭗𐩒

Rainysong was busy for the rest of the day. Every time he saw her, she would be talking, or depositing prey, or watching a novice. Breezestar didn’t know if she was purposely avoiding him, or if she really was just busy. He kept waiting, finally catching her chewing a chub at late dusk.

“Rainysong!” he called, approaching her. Her gaze turned to him, and she nodded, before taking another bite of the fish. Breezestar lay next to her, hope growing in his chest. “Could I have some?” he asked.

“I guess,” Rainysong meowed, shrugging. He smiled, taking the other side of the fish, and they ate in silence. After a couple minutes, the leader-to-be stood, pushing the chub at the leader. “You can have the rest. I’m going to go to sleep.”

He stared after her, eyes wide. If she left...he could tell it, in her shoulders, in the way she stood…if she left now, she would be closing the door on him - on them. Whether knowingly or not, he didn’t know, but now was his last chance.

“Walk with me?” he pleaded. She paused, before sighing.

“Why not?” she murmured, joining his side. Together they walked out to the forest. He could feel her tense, wary as they neared the border, but she said nothing. Warmth blossomed where his heart was - she was always putting her Clan first.

They stopped in a clearing, the trees almost making a circle around it. A pond sat in the middle, reflecting the colors of the sky. It was called the Clearing of Skylight, and it was known for its beauty any time of day. He took a deep breath, recalling his father’s tale of how he asked Breezestar’s mother to be his mate there, and how his father had asked his mother here.

Now it was his turn.

“Rainysong,” he meowed, turning his yellow gaze to her, joy blooming in his chest as she met it, “will you be my mate?”

𐩒⭗◯⭗𐩒

Rainysong froze. “What?” She heard the words come out from the gray cat’s mouth, she understood them, but the meaning was too shocking to fully comprehend.

“I understand that you’re probably surprised, but kits will be great for MoonClan - and with your relationship with your...mate.” The elderly gray she-cat paused, and Rainysong tensed, expecting the question Who’s the father? Instead, she received, “You’ll want to let Breezestar know. It doesn’t have to be now, and you can continue with your deputy duties, but he’ll likely want to insert a temporary deputy.”

“Okay,” she murmured, shuffling her paws. Although to Thunderstrike she probably just appeared nervous, her mind was whirling with thoughts. ''I can’t be a mother! I have my job! I’m the deputy, for Serenity’s sake. Even if there is someone elected as the temporary deputy and everything goes just fine...what will I do after sitting in a nursery for six moons? Will MoonClan accept me as their second-in-command once more, or will the Clan decide I’m no good as the next leader-to-be? Rainysong shuddered. This means everything to me! I’ve worked my tail off for this position, and I can’t let kits… Her eyes widened with realization. Breezestar always loved me, which means...did he…?''

I wasn’t chosen for my abilities.

I was chosen out of love.

“From the looks of it, you’re around only a half-moon into pregnancy. I was beginning to wonder, from the amount of food you were eating…” Thunderstrike shook her head, both her distinctive striped eye and normal one closing in thought for a moment. “You’ll probably only have to move into the nursery around one moon in. I know you’ll probably want to keep your deputy duties, but there was one queen who delivered early. She was hunting, and no one realized.” The shaman exhaled, opening her eyes to direct her green stare at the deputy. “A warrior later found her body and the bodies of her kits. Two didn’t make it.”

All Rainysong could do was stare in horror. A queen and two kits…? Three members of MoonClan, lost, and no one realized. “The others?”

“There were two kits found to be alive, although just barely. One of them didn’t survive.”

Rainysong felt her blood run cold. ''Will that happen to me? To my kits? I can’t risk it...but that means giving up on my duties to the Clan so much sooner!'' She could picture herself and Breezestar gazing at their kits, but not as young kits, as three-moon-olds, or even warriors, but not as little bundles of fur laying at her belly. They were so innocent and young and helpless then, and it would be too easy to lose them to an illness or a creature.

She couldn’t be a mother like all queens had to be. She couldn’t be one to push them out, to let them suckle. She couldn’t have her children go through the process of growing up, because she didn’t know how. How would she care for them when they were so young?

Rainysong frowned. “Thank you for letting me know,” she meowed quietly, standing and leaving the den.

Breezestar was ecstatic when she told him. “Kits? That’s wonderful, Rainy!” He nuzzled her, loud purrs escaping his mouth. “You’ll be a great mother.”

Yes, she thought, but will I be a great deputy afterward?

𐩒⭗◯⭗𐩒

She didn’t hate the bundles of fur at her belly, no. But staring at them, she didn’t know what to think.

There were three. Three! Three kittens that she had given birth to, and were hers to take care of.

There was a purely white one, the one neither youngest nor oldest, born in between the two. There was also light gray kit, with white paws and a tail tipped with white. Darker dappling matched their darker back paws and their ears. The oldest was a silvery color, white speckling across their body.

She hadn’t told anyone that Breezestar was their father, but she didn’t seem to have to - apparently, all of MoonClan knew. If they didn’t know, then their suspicions were likely confirmed when Breezestar entered the den.

“Are you okay?” he asked anxiously, eyes crinkled. “Thunderstrike said you were okay, but she’s getting...well, old, and I didn’t know if she was checking properly or -”

“I’m okay, Breezestar,” Rainysong interrupted, and although her murmurs were soft and quiet, muted, he listened.

“Oh thank Serenity! Are these the kits?” He cooed at the kittens curled up at Rainysong’s belly. “They’re gorgeous! Should we name them?” The she-cat said nothing, only nodded. “Can we name this one Leafkit? After my sister?” He pointed at the speckled she-cat.

Once more, all she did was nod. Breezestar beamed. “You name one!”

She glanced at the pure white she-cat and decided almost immediately the name. “Cloudkit. After Cloudwing.”

“And this one?” He gestured to the dappled tom.

She considered Graykit, after Graytail, but waved it away almost immediately. Graytail had rarely been there for her. She yearned to name one after Goldenleap, but Goldenkit did not fit this little gray kit. What could fit? While she wanted to spit out a name and then sleep, she knew that it would stay with the kitten for the rest of his life.

“I don’t know.”

Breezestar tilted his head. “Idon’tknowkit doesn’t sound the best,” he teased. Rainysong half-heartedly glared.

“I was the one who just gave birth to them,” she huffed. “I have a right to be weary and unsure. You name him.”

Breezestar hummed, then reached down and licked Rainysong’s cheek. “Well, then, how about Riverkit?” he purred.

“Sounds good. Now let me sleep, you doofus,” she teased. He rolled his yellow gaze but nodded.

“I’ll let Thunderstrike know the names, but I’ll come right back. Sleep well, my love.”

She drifted off, the last thing she remembered hearing was Breezestar proudly calling out their names.

𐩒⭗◯⭗𐩒

Rainysong watched the three play with a ball of moss, squealing with delight as one caught it, or playfully growling when one tried to take it away.

Cloudkit had inherited Rainysong’s light blue eyes, as well as Riverkit. Leafkit, however, had her father’s bright, golden eyes, like two miniature suns. Cloudkit had grown bigger than her brother and sister, although she still enjoyed playing with the somewhat smaller siblings.

It was a nice time right now, rather quiet, peaceful. As such, Rainysong smelled him before she heard him, and heard him before she saw him, so she turned to see her mate, bluejay in jaws, caught in mid-step. He smiled sheepishly.

“Hi?”

“Is that for me?” she questioned, nodding at the bird and ignoring the awkwardness the hyper leader seemed to be radiating with.

“Of course,” he purred, setting it down. “Only the finest for the finest she-cat.”

She rolled her eyes, although the patched she-cat did smile. “I’m the finest, now am I?” the queen teased. “What about your two daughters?”

“Ah.” He gazed out at the three kits, blinking as his smile widened. “Don’t tell them. Whoops.”

Rainysong laughed. “I wouldn’t even think about it. How’s Brackensplash been doing, as temporary deputy?”

“Alright.” Breezestar shrugged, smile fading away. “He still stumbles, but he’s getting better.”

Rainysong sighed, blinking with not quite sadness, but close to it. “I wish I could still be planning patrols, and helping you out.”

“But you’re taking care of our kits,” he insisted, licking her ear soothingly, lovingly. “That’s a good thing - a great thing.”

“I suppose,” she murmured, quietly.

𐩒⭗◯⭗𐩒

“Leafkit, you have reached the age to receive the rank of Novice. Use this rank to learn and understand the warrior code. Your mentor will be Juniperheart, who will pass on the skills she learned to you. Let the moon shine upon you as the new novice of MoonClan, Leafpaw.”

Leafpaw seemed to glow with excitement as she touched noses with Juniperheart, purrs easily heard across all of the gathered cats. She then joined Riverpaw, leaving Cloudkit the last to step up and meet her father’s eyes. The white she-cat glanced over at her mother before smiling and bouncing on her paws. Breezestar would give her a good mentor, she just knew it.

“Cloudkit, you have reached the age to receive the rank of Novice. Use this rank to learn and understand the warrior code. Your mentor will be Wildheart, who will pass on the skills she learned to you. Let the moon shine upon you as the new novice of MoonClan, Cloudpaw.”

Wildheart stepped forward and smiled awkwardly, touching noses with Rainysong’s daughter. “I’ll do my best to train you as well as your mother trained me,” the tortoiseshell murmured. Cloudpaw blinked, tail waving in excitement.

“I can’t wait!”

“Leafpaw! Riverpaw! Cloudpaw! Leafpaw! Riverpaw! Cloudpaw!” the Clan chanted. Cloudpaw pulled away, purring, sticking her light pink nose into the air. I’ll be the best warrior MoonClan’s ever seen!

𐩒⭗◯⭗𐩒

“Kits?” Rainysong spluttered, staring at Leafspeckle in surprise. “I’m - I’m going to be a grandmother?”

Leafspeckle rolled her yellow eyes, amused by her mother’s antics. “Yes, Rainysong. Kits.”

“I must go tell your father,” she murmured, pacing. “And Riversong, and Cloudsplash, a - and Juniperheart! Ebonysky! Bir -”

“Rainysong!” the white-specked she-cat interrupted. “You don’t need to tell all of MoonClan! I’ll tell the closest people first, and then all of MoonClan can know. Okay?”

Rainysong blinked, seeming surprised. “I’m the one you consider closest?” Her mother appeared as though she couldn’t believe it, but flattered at this fact.

Leafspeckle’s ears flattened - she had told Cloudsplash first, and then Riversong. She had been on her way to tell Breezestar when she bumped into Rainysong, and just blurted it out. She loved her mother, she truly did, but Rainysong was always distant, so no, she didn’t consider her mother the closest. Still, Leafspeckle did not outwardly deny it.

“Anyway,” she meowed, trying to neither confirm nor deny Rainysong’s false assumption, “I’m going to tell Breezestar! Talk soon!” Before her mother could say so much as a good-bye, she had darted, swift pale paws taking her to her mother and father’s den. She took a breath in, then out, and entered.

𐩒⭗◯⭗𐩒

When Nightwhisper left the nursery, he didn’t know if Leafspeckle’s mate had good news or bad. Riversong was anxious to see his sister, but were there kits to see as well?

Wrentail blinked, nodding after Nightwhisper murmured something into his brown-tipped ears, before stepping forward, announcing, “Leafspeckle, unfortunately, lost two daughters, but a son, Shadowkit, has survived.”

Riversong’s ears laid back. Poor kits, he thought sorrowfully. ''Poor Leafspeckle. She seemed so excited to have kits...and now she just lost two.'' He desperately wanted to curl up next to her, to comfort her, but Nightwhisper’s dark greenish-yellow gaze warned him off. Later, then.

He jumped as his mate, Woodstripe, gently nuzzled his gray cheek. “Don’t worry, dove,” the tabby murmured. “She’ll be okay.”

Riversong sighed, leaning against the black-bellied tom. “I hope you’re right,” the gray tom meowed, voice soft and low.

“Of course I am, silly.” Woodstripe bumped Riversong’s shoulder. “C’mon. Standing around moping won’t get you anywhere. How about we try fishing?”

𐩒⭗◯⭗𐩒

Rainystar blinked back tears as she stared at her mate’s grave. Breezestar - or Breezeleaf, technically - had revealed to her a few moons back that he only had one life, not nine, and so when greencough struck him down, he could not stand back up.

She recalled her leader ceremony - Cloudwing and Graytail had been there, as well as Lionscar, Cloudwing’s father. Leafsky, an ancient MoonClan shaman, Mudkit, and Leafspeckle’s two kits (of which Cloudwing and Graytail had named Brightkit and Silverkit) had all gifted her lives. Thornstar, of course, was there, and, finally, Breezeleaf. She sighed - it had still been so strange to see stars dotting his coat, when he should be down on the ground with her.

She curled up around Breezeleaf’s grave, imagining his warm pelt encasing her, pretending he was still alive. She pretended that the white-bellied tom murmured her a “Good night”, as she whispered it to the cold nothingness.

When the white she-cat fell asleep, she saw him, his loving golden gaze searching her own cerulean, as he asked her, “Do you love me?”

“Why would I not?” she whispered.

But, of course, when she woke the next morning, dirt having gathered on her normally clean fur, the chilly air of dawn sent a breeze against her side, as if reminding her that no matter how many sunsets she saw as she went to bed, or sunrises she woke up to, he wouldn’t be by her side, not till she joined him in Serenity.

He would only be a dream till then.